this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
