He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I didn't notice because vodka
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
