dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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