there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
