just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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