Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
