Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
