I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
