I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
