some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize