How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
