she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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