Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize