...so i touched it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
