I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize