people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
