Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize