i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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