I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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