i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
