I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize