Do vagina's smell?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
