So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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