Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
