Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
