this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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