awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
