so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
