No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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