you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize