Got a toothbrush?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
