omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
