You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just want nice things and good sex
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize