Tell her she can't have a vagina
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize