The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
