You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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