how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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