Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
