I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I don't deserve a penis
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
