Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize