Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
