i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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