My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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