I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
