Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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