I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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