just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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