this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
