you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
