The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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