how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
