At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
