I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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