Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
