THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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