I'm lost and stupid without you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I feel like abortions should bother me more
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My dick has a subreddit
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
