If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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