im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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